The Meaning of Joseph Abrams: Jewish Vampire Detective; Chapters Three through Five

All my posts will have the following so first time users will know a bit more than I could fit on the header but please go back to the older posts so you can start at the beginning (I know, stating the obvious):

Why Jewish vampires, you ask?  Why not.  I get to modify the rules because shouldn't Jewish vampires have some rules that are different.  There are also Gentile vampires and were-creatures (not just werewolves but werelions, weretigers and werebears, oh my).  While the vampires, both Jewish and Gentile, have some rules the same and some that are different, they all live, in a sense, a cursed existence.  I hope you enjoy my take on vampires.

Chapter Three

Joseph awoke after an hour and a half of sleep.  While adequate, it was far from refreshing.  He took a shower, put on clean clothes and walked over to Parson Circle to find out what happened.  Marina PD officers, Monterey County Sheriff deputies, CHP officers and FBI agents had set up a tight perimeter and were not releasing any information.  Joseph found it strange and unnerving that there were federal agents at the scene.  The one thing he found out was something happened at the Aguilos’ residence.  Joseph recognized one of the officers standing just outside the tape, James Reilly, and went up to talk with him in the hopes of getting information.

“Hi, Jim.  What happened?”

“Geez, Joe.  Can’t you at least pretend to care about my wife and kids first before asking other questions?” James asked.

“So, James, how are the wife and kids?”

“All doing very well, thanks for asking.  I can’t tell you much, Joe.  All I know is the place is swarming with FBI and NCIS and DCIS.  There’s probably more alphabet soups and maybe a few without any letters.  I know the family was from Spain.  The husband was an instructor in computers at NPS and the wife was a language instructor at DLI, which explains all the Feds. They also have a teenage son, who was taken to a hospital but I don’t know which one.”

“So basically, Jim, they’ve pretty much turned you into a mushroom.”

“Yep, that’s pretty much it.  And don’t expect anyone else in our or the sheriff’s departments to tell you anything because they ain’t even tellin’ us nothin’.”

“Thanks anyway, Jim.  I might as well go to the office.  See you around.”

Joseph had befriended the Aguilos family and not being able to find out anything about what happened made him fear the worst.  He could smell the smoke from the fire but it was obvious the house was not even close to having been burnt down or even damaged in any meaningful way.    Joseph figured he might as well pick up breakfast on the way to the office, since it was his turn.

Joseph arrived at the office on Reservation Road, across from the Ramada Inn, just past 8 AM.  Felicia was doing research on the internet while Kevin, dressed in his usual garb of dark slacks and a short-sleeved polo shirt, was making coffee.  Kevin, born Ai Tian in Kaifeng of the Henan province of China, once again Chinese, standing five feet nine inches tall with a solid build and sporting short hair in the style of the Taiwanese Army, always made the coffee in the mornings.  Felicia, born Meskie baht-Yakov in Ethiopia, once again Black African, standing five feet, seven inches, well built and with a stunning figure. 

“So what did you bring us”, Felicia asked.

“Chorizo burritos from Papa’s.”

Kevin, having just finished making the coffee, wasted no time in coming over and grabbing one. 

“Joseph, you should have taken some time off”. Felicia stated.  “We can handle things here.”

“Felicia’s right, Joseph.  We both know you and Isabella were very close.  You can’t always lose yourself in your work in the hopes things will get better.”

“I know the both of you can handle things but I’m not trying to lose myself in my work.  Isabella said something that bothered me.  Add in that obviously recently turned Gentile vampire whom she called Scott and something is definitely not kosher.”

“I know, Joseph.  Kevin filled me in before you got here.  Why do you think I’m on the internet.”

Joseph was about to explain that something bad happened at the Aguilos home when the phone rang.

Kevin answered, “Good morning. This is Central Coast Investigations. Kevin Sung speaking.”

When the voice on the other end said, “Cut the crap, Kevin.  Is Joseph in yet?  I’ve got a job that I need to talk to him about”, he knew it was Michelle Zimmer, their insurance agent whose company quite often hired them to investigate suspected insurance fraud.

“Who urinated in your breakfast cereal this morning, Michelle?” Kevin retorted in a joking manner.  “And here I thought you would be happy about the marriage proposal on the sand hill.”

“Two things.  One, I don’t have a boyfriend so there would be no marriage proposal so it was definitely a different Michelle.  Two, I didn’t take Highway One into work today so I didn’t pass the Fremont exit.  There was some sort of bad accident so I had to go through Fort Ord instead.”

Kevin had seen the proposal on the sand hill on the west side of Highway One on his way into Marina.  People left all sorts of messages there, from political protests to professions of undying love to happy birthdays, etc.  He had been told messages had been left on the hill for decades.  And he had seen the accident on the way in, backing up South bound traffic for several miles all the way from the Fremont exit to the on ramp by Reservation Road in Marina.

Kevin almost said “too bad, so sad” but decided against it, saying instead, “Joseph, for you.  It’s Michelle.  She said something about a job and that she is in a see-through nightie just like Aphrodite.”

Joseph, grabbing the phone out of Kevin’s hand, responded to Kevin but loud enough for Michelle to hear on the other end, “I’ve already seen her in it and out of it, for that matter.”  Joseph then put the phone up to his ear.  “What’s so important, great lookin’, that you just had to speak with me even though you know Kevin and Felicia are just as capable of helping you?”

“You can sweet talk me all you want, Joseph, but the rate is still the same.”

Joseph and Michelle had known each other for close to ten years and even though their romantic relationship ended eight years ago they still managed to remain friends.  Their business relationship was even better.  Michelle had recommended CCI once for a fraud investigation.  Their agency saved Michelle’s company several million while cracking an arson-insurance fraud ring.  The company hired them several times since then.  Joseph knew their agency’s ethnic diversity and ability to speak more than a few dozen different languages and dialects between them further enhanced their investigative abilities.  Joseph reflected on how well he could please Michelle (nearly 2,000 years of experience didn’t hurt in that regard) and how she liked the breakfasts he made afterwards.  However, they both sensed their romance didn’t have the future she desired so they decided to end things while still on good terms.

“Joseph, hello, you still there?” Michelle asked, snapping Joseph out of his remembrance of good times past.

“Yeah, I’m still here.  Sorry about that.  As you were saying.”

Michelle went on to explain. “Look, Joseph, one of my policyholders, David Wahlberg, just died Saturday evening as a result of septic shock brought about by food poisoning.  I went to see David’s widow, Hannah, the next morning to see what I could do to help her and inform her of the life insurance policy David had taken out just two months ago.  That was when Hannah told me about encrypted files that she had found on David’s laptop and added she believed her husband had been murdered.  She already informed the police but they didn’t believe her, giving her the impression they thought she was just a grieving widow looking for an explanation that seemed to make more ‘sense’.” 

Joseph had read about David’s death and thought it was a shame.  He seemed like a person who cared about the students and the education they received.  David had been the president of the Board of Education at the time of his death and made a controversial decision in eliminating the position of a PR Director so the District could instead keep two more teachers.  The PR director was a popular person in the community and his being let go upset many.  However, no one, not even Joseph, thought it was something someone would kill over.  The PR director himself had even tried to quell any discontent and ill will the public might have felt towards David, saying he understood the decision and agreed it was the right thing to do. 

Michelle then asked, “Joseph, could you look into it?  The company wants to rule out foul play on the part of the wife or even suicide.  If it wasn’t for the fact the policy was all of two months old there wouldn’t even be a cursory investigation.  The only reason we’re asking your agency to look into it is for the sake of objectivity.”

“Why not wait for the results of the autopsy.  I know the Wahlberg’s are Orthodox but it sounds like Hannah Wahlberg would want one.” Joseph replied.

“You know as well as I do, given the current situation with the budgets and all, and the fact the Coroner’s Office, along with the rest of Law Enforcement, is stretched pretty thin”, Michelle answered back.  “Add in the spike in gang violence and gang-related homicides and the Coroner’s Office has more than it can handle.  It just cannot do more than a superficial autopsy and, given the circumstances, who can blame them.  There is no real evidence of foul play or suicide.  We simply want your investigation to confirm it or not.” 

Joseph relented.  “All right, I’ll contact Hannah Wahlberg and hopefully be able to have the files on the laptop decrypted.  I’m just glad there are no real loose ends to tie up.  I’m booked solid with paperwork today but I have time tomorrow morning at around nine.  Will that be fine?”

“That’ll be fine.  I’ll let her know you will be by then.  I’ll text you her phone number and address.  Joseph, thank you for doing this.”  Michelle hung up and texted Joseph. 

“Why are we taking this case when it seems to be pretty straightforward and there is nothing to it?” Kevin asked.

Joseph replied, “David Wahlberg was truly a good guy and his widow deserves peace of mind.” 

“Joseph, don’t we have enough already on our plates?” Felicia asked.

“This looks very routine and should be quick, maybe two or three days.” Joseph replied.  “Besides, you know how hard it is to say no to Michelle.”

“Speaking of Vampire conspiracies”, Kevin said, steering the conversation back to what Joseph had told him earlier in the morning.  “Are you sure Isabella was telling you the straight truth and not embellishing?”

“I’m sure she was being straight with me”, Joseph replied.  “She had no reason to be anything but truthful.  If anything, she seemed confident she would kill me and when it became obvious she couldn’t, she, in essence, committed suicide.  Her willingness to die for a “cause” is disturbing.  Also, she had a relieved look on her face after I was forced to kill her.”

“Maybe she just had enough of immortality.  You know, it’s happened many times before.”

“That didn’t seem to be the case this time.  She wanted to either kill me or die trying.”

“We’ll see if we can figure out who she’s been in contact with.  In the meantime, Felicia and I are trying to track down who this other vampire was.  Anyhow, do you know what happened at the Aguilos’ home?  The news this morning said something happened there but no one is releasing any information.”

“No, I don’t.  Just something really bad but I can’t get anyone to tell me a thing, which is unusual.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to find out later today.”

Joseph then looked outside and saw the weather was going to reflect just how the day seemed to be shaping up, miserable.  It was a typical February morning in Marina.  The temperature was in the upper 30’s, the sky overcast and the fog lingering.  It looked like rain with a cold chill.  He then uttered, “Typical AT&T Open weather, cold, damp, windy and most likely rain.  So do you two have a bet going on?”

“Yeah, I bet Kevin that they would play through Saturday but not on Sunday and end up canceling it all.”

“And I bet her that it would be cancelled by Saturday.”

“So, Felicia, what are you going to do with the $100 when you win?”

“Hey, Joseph, what do you mean when she wins?”

“Because, Kevin, you seem to always lose your bets with Felicia.  And this weather isn’t going to help attendance at the Open.  The economy is already having enough of a bad effect, this weather is going to exasperate that effect.  The hotels and tourist related business is hurting enough already.”

Kevin then added, “But at least the rains will help fill up the reservoirs.  And, perversely, business has been good due to the unfortunately typical rise in insurance fraud that accompanies bad economies.  Then again, our “good” fortune makes it possible for us to help law enforcement at little to no cost to them and to do more pro bono work.”

“Joseph, when I win, I’ll take us all out to Kicks, that new Jewish-Irish pub and deli in Monterey.”

“Sounds good to me, Felicia.  Now let’s dig into these burritos.”

Chapter Four

When a man voweth a vow unto the Lord, or sweareth an oath to bind his soul, he shall not break his word; he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

Numbers 30:3

James had called his fellow cell members before he and his family boarded their flight back to Tucson.  Oscar Chavez and Christine Jablonski, the other two cell members, knew it was of the utmost urgency they meet that evening. 

James’ family history of being a Purifier went back 400 years to England.  They were asked to join when a Jewish vampire by the name of Yehuda ben-Micah had gone on a rampage and almost killed an entire branch of James’ direct ancestors. The Purifiers came to the town and saw the necessary traits in James’ ancestors.  His ancestors immigrated to America in the 1750’s in order to form another cell.  It had been the obsession of James’ family to hunt down and end Yehuda’s existence.  It was also rumored most of the other vampires, Jewish and Gentile, hated Yehuda with near the passion of James.

James then reflected on Oscar, whose family had no previous connection to the Purifiers, making him the first Purifier who could not trace back at least one direct ancestor who had been a Purifier for at least five generations.  James had been the one who recruited Oscar, whose family had been hunting guides for over two hundred years, back to the days of the Dons when Mexico was a Spanish colony.  It was during a hunting trip in Mexico and James was impressed by this rugged, 5’7”, well-built 170 pounds, dark-brown complexioned individual.   Oscar kept his black hair short and mustache well trimmed.  To say James was impressed by Oscar’s incredible instincts, talent and skill would be an understatement.  He alerted his District Leader, who was also very impressed.  It was at this point an offer was made to Oscar, that how he could do God’s work here on Earth by ridding the world of vampires and be paid very well for it.  He jumped at the chance.  His wife had just given birth a month before to the most beautiful baby girl a father could ask for and he was trying to save money to buy a home with a real backyard for her to enjoy.  This person in the Purifiers was an answer to Oscar’s prayers and he repaid James with complete loyalty, even though Oscar had no problems voicing a dissenting opinion, if warranted.

Then James thought about Christine.  Her family came from a longer line of Purifiers, being able to trace back to the Late Middle Ages in Eastern Europe.  Like her father, who was proud she wanted to carry on the family tradition, she excelled at being a shooter.  However, Christine was the first woman in her family to be a Purifier.  She liked being a Purifier because everything was straightforward. The Prey were an evil that had to be eradicated and the Purifiers were the instruments of justice that would do the eradicating.

James’ flight landed mid-afternoon and, after getting home and putting the luggage away, he met with Christine and Oscar.

James told them what he witnessed.  “I know it was Yosef ben-Avraham, and he murdered someone.  The mortal had pulled out a 45-caliber handgun, which tells me he was expecting trouble.  Yosef ben-Avraham could have easily disarmed him but let himself be shot instead.  The mortal had fired 6 shots at point blank range, which knocked Yosef down, who then gets up and proceeds to murder the mortal.  The one thing I couldn’t be one hundred percent sure of is whether or not I had been seen but I’m confident that even if Yosef ben-Avraham had seen me he couldn’t have known I am a Purifier.

“Look, I know the both of you agree that all vampires should be purified from the face of the Earth and that no agreement could override that.  None of us can understand why the Executive Board even allowed this peace agreement to be in place.  After all, it is well known Yosef ben-Avraham had killed a Purifier nearly 65 years ago.  We don’t know the name of the Purifier but that is not relevant.  All that is relevant is a Purifier got away with killing a Purifier.”

“How do you even know it was Yosef ben-Avraham and not just another Prey?” Oscar asked.

“It was the move he used to kill his victim”, James replied.  “Look at the video I took and how he grabbed the mortal’s neck.”

James had connected the video camera to his big screen TV and pushed play.  They saw the mortal shoot the Prey, which was knocked onto its back.  The Prey then got up and grabbed the mortal by the top of his throat using only the thumb and forefinger while placing the palm over the mouth to help muffle any sounds. 

“That is Yosef ben-Avraham’s signature move.  Add in how little the gunshots affected the Prey and it’s obvious we have found the Prey of Preys.  So, what should we do?” Christine inquired.

“It looks like we need to go to Monterey,” James answered.

“But what about the cell that is responsible for the area?” Oscar asked.  “If they find out won’t they be upset and inform their District Board, who will then inform ours?  And how do we keep this trip from our District Board?”

“I’ll tell them we are going on a training exercise for two weeks.  We are due for one anyway,” James replied.  “Look, I know what I’m asking to do is tantamount to insubordination and will have severe repercussions so if either one of you doesn’t want to do this I will understand.  We have to be in total agreement.”

“James, you know Oscar and I have never agreed with that peace agreement the Governing Board made with Yosef ben-Avraham,” Christine interjected.  “And no subsequent Governing Board has ever explained why or attempted to justify it.  Let’s just get packing and follow all the standard protocols so the District Board won’t know what we’re really up to.  Let’s make this a dark exercise so they won’t expect us to communicate with them during the next two weeks.”

“Excellent idea,” James agreed.  “It’s been two years since our last dark exercise so we are due for that as well.”

The meeting broke up and Christine and Oscar went to their homes to prepare for their mission.  They knew everything had to be by the book.  They would not fly to Monterey so as to make it more difficult for any Prey to track them.  Instead, they would use one of their several vehicles, which would also allow them to take all the necessary equipment, including weapons, without raising any suspicions.  In these times, with the fear of terrorists heightened, anyone traveling with the arsenal and equipment they used would be picked up and thrown into some hole and never heard from again.

Chapter Five

Yehuda and Michael went out from the office and down to what had been the factory floor.  He passed by and stood a few feet in front of a table that had a white ceramic washbasin filled with water and four white towels immaculately folded and perfectly stacked.  Two members of Yehuda’s organization stood at ready attention on each end of the table.

“Jose, Hector, Alberto, great to see you all,” Vladimir said in a jovial and somewhat effeminate manner.  He found by appearing less masculine, his rivals would underestimate him.  “I see you’ve brought a fourth person to our soiree.  Who is this fine looking young fellow?”

“He’s Jaime, my nephew through my older sister”, answered Jose, the leader of the Tres Equis gang.  “He’s here as a witness only.  So you said you had a proposal on how to make us more powerful.  I’m listening but it better be good, Ivanov.”

“Please, call me Vladimir.  After all, we’re all on friendly terms here.  However, what I said was I had a proposal on how to make the members of your gang part of something more powerful.  Your organization is somewhat small and really has no room to grow since more powerful gangs surround you.  What I propose is your gang becomes part of my organization with me as the leader.  You will have my full support and the full weight of my organization’s strength.”

“You’re batshit loco if you think we’re going to be under the control of some Anglo who’s as gay as you”, Jose shouted back in anger with Hector and Alberto yelling obscenities in agreement.

“Please, just call me El Feminino the next time”, Yehuda joked and got a laugh out of everyone.

“You’re a funny guy, Vladimir”, Jose said, still a bit irritated.  “But we’re still not going to be under you.  You’ve done nothing to impress us or give us a reason why to be under your fuckin’ thumb.”

“We are at an apparent impasse since you won’t acquiesce to my humble and reasonable offer”, Yehuda answered back in a calm voice that disguised his displeasure.  “Well, then, I must resolve this problem in the only manner left available.”

Yehuda then sprung into action.  With a violent jolt, he turned Jose to face away from him before using his bare right hand to rip out his throat, causing the blood to spray on Jaime and not on his suit.  He then spun 180 degrees clockwise to strike Hector in the throat, causing the esophagus to collapse, and then spun around counter-clockwise to grab Alberto by the head and snap his neck.  He made sure Hector and Jose were dead as well.  All this took place in less time than the three had to react.  Jaime just stood there frozen in fear, having soiled and wetted his clothing, which was also soaked in his uncle’s blood.

Yehuda turned to face the table when the two members of his organization who had been standing on each end were now in front of him, one holding the washbasin and the other holding the stack of towels.  Yehuda dipped his blood-covered right hand in the washbasin, then grabbed a towel, wiping off the blood and drying his hand, and asked, “How does my suit look?”

Michael, who had stepped up and also now stood in front of Yehuda, replied, “Not one drop, Mr. Ivanov.”  Then, like a valet, he gave Yehuda’s suit the once over, even to the point of using a lint brush to make sure his boss looked immaculate.

“That is excellent,” Yehuda said, a smile beaming across his face.  He then went on and asked, “Tell me, my minions, how many witnesses are needed in order to tell the tale of what just happened?”

“Just one”, they shouted in unison.

Yehuda then went up to Jaime and said, “Jaime, today is the most fortunate day of your life as you get to be that one witness.  And as your uncle Jose said, more accurately and prophetically than he thought when he said you were here to be a witness, tell the rest of the Tres Equis the price that is to be paid for defying me.  And as you can see, the stories about me having been part of Spetznaz appear to be true.”

Jaime still stood frozen in utter fear, with his mouth agape and eyes opened wide.  He had never seen anyone do the things Ivanov had just done with the speed he did it in.  It wasn’t possible, no human being could do that, he thought to himself.  Or, perhaps, the movies were right and Spetnaz was filled with super soldiers.

“Jaime, my dear boy, you get to live”, Yehuda said in a reassuring voice but it had little effect on Jaime.  “Oh my, you are definitely in no condition to drive.  However, it is most understandable you would be almost in shock.  After all, you have witnessed your uncle’s unfortunate demise, not to mention your extreme need of a proper bodily cleaning.  Well, then, two of my minions will drive you back.  Jimmy and Raul, please step forward.”

Jimmy Choi and Raul Gonzalez both came forward and stood at attention, awaiting Yehuda’s next command.  They had both learned long ago when to think for themselves and when to just wait to be told what to do.  This was one of those times to wait.

“Would the two of you be so kind as to search those three corpses for the car keys, load those same corpses into the automobile they came in, and drive Jaime here back to his parents’ home.  We will, of course, keep the automobile as part of the tribute that is owed to us”, Yehuda went on.  “Also, please deliver the corpses to the Tres Equis gang, which will now become a part of our organization once they hear the tale Jaime will relate and realize what is in their best interest, by leaving them in front of Jose’s home.”

Jimmy got the keys out of Hector’s pocket and enlisted Jaime into helping them load the bodies of Jose, Hector and Alberto into the back seat.  On the drive back to where Jaime lived in Salinas, Jaime was silent, too afraid to utter a single sound. 

When at last they arrived at Jose’s home, Raul asked, “Is this where you live?”

Jaime managed to squeak out, “Yes” and nodded his head for added emphasis.

“Well, this where you get out,” Raul said.

Raul then pointed a gun at Jaime’s head to encourage him to get out of the car as fast as possible.  But Raul had no intention of shooting Jaime; it was for show, to make it all look good for the neighbors who would tell the new leaders of the Tres Equis how Jaime had no choice in helping Raul and Jimmy unload the bodies.  Raul and Jimmy were built like linebackers, which meant getting the bodies out onto the sidewalk with Jaime’s assistance was not a problem.  After all three bodies had been placed on the sidewalk Raul and Jimmy arranged the bodies in a circle with Hector’s mouth on Alberto’s crotch, Alberto’s mouth on Jose’s crotch and Jose’s mouth on Hector’s crotch.  Raul and Jimmy then got back in the car and drove back to the Headquarters.

Thirty seconds later the rest of the Tres Equis gang showed up after they all got a call on their cell phones to be in front of Jose’s home at that moment.